Can we talk for a moment about my hoarding obsession? It makes no sense! I hate clutter and long for a modern, minimalist style, with a touch of zen. What's keeping me from this? A fear of throwing anything out that I've had for as long as I can remember. The other day I looked around and screamed "I just want to throw all of this away!" I then picked up a tiny water bottle and said "I might need this", and set it down. Maybe this is the complex that comes with a person who has no sense of permanence. Or because being poor has led me to believe if I run out of things, what will I have to do? But the oddest part is that you would think someone with this mindset would have the sense of style that comes with it. Maybe a rustic or Liberace mess. But just looking at anything like that gives me anxiety, which is the reason I always have anxiety. So I should just throw everything out once I'm done with my perpetual laziness. I should probably be a good blogger and show you before and after pictures, maybe even some of the process. Then again that would mean you seeing how horrid my abode is. Maybe just of the closet? I wallow in a life of hypocrisy everyday that I'm too lazy to clean. Part of me knows I should just hire a maid, one of those naked ones I always see advertised on Craigslist. Yes, I would like that but alas I need to do this alone.
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